Today is a different kind of day for me. It’s one where I summon, from the deeper parts of my soul, the courage to take a stand on a subject I have long avoided. I have much preferred to remain silent on a topic as “touchy” as this one. I would much prefer to remain a “comfortable Christian,” and avoid stirring up contention, commotion, or even attention, for that matter.
Same-sex marriage brings up such intense emotion and passionate debate, I have often cringed at the thought of taking a stand because I have feared retribution. I have feared persecution. I have feared retaliation, humiliation, condemnation. Not only have I feared the aftermath of choosing to no longer remain silent, I also have the unrelenting fear of hurting people I have cared about for many years. I have the utmost concern for those whom I love who struggle on a significantly personal level with this sensitive topic. People who I will always wrap my arms around and unconditionally love, regardless of their sexual orientation. People I have watched grow up and struggle through the deepest of trials, and bear the wounds that only such a challenge as this can deliver.
In full recognition of the enormity of the burdens some must carry regarding homosexuality, I also have the burden of truth burning deep within me. I know what is true. There isn’t an ounce of my soul that can deny it. I muster confidence in expressing what I know with the powerful words of Russell M. Nelson in his commencement speech August 14, 2014, entitled “Disciples of Christ- Defenders of Marriage.” He states, “Disciples of the Lord are defenders of marriage. We cannot yield. History is not our judge. A secular society is not our judge. God is our judge!” We are reminded in Genesis 1:27, 28 and Genesis 2:24,
“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”
“And God blessed them, and . . . said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.”
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
The power to create life is a gift from God. Two men cannot create life. Two women cannot create life. Science can try as they may, but they cannot circumvent the procreative powers that only the union of a man and a women can provide. As a Christian, it is undeniable to me that God intended for a man and a woman to unite as one in marriage. It is undeniable to me that marriage is not only a promise between a man and a woman. It is a contract between a man, a woman and God. It is the legal union of a mother and a father that provides the most stable, well-balanced, and dynamic atmosphere for children.
As a single mother, I have experienced, on profoundly painful levels, exactly why children need a mother and a father. As a single mother, I lived with another single mother for an entire year. Both of us struggled to make ends meet and raise our children the best we could with the limited time and resources available to us. We helped each other as much as possible. As best friends, we dearly cared for each other’s children and supported each other in the endeavor of parenting. But two wonderful, caring mothers do not replace a father. Children need a father. Mothers cannot replace the influence of a father. Mother’s do not interact the same with their children, they do not play the same with their children, they do not counsel the same with children as fathers do. Children need both a mother and a father.
The remarks of Cathy Ruse, a Catholic Christian and successful lawyer, delivered at the World Congress of Families IX, resonate intensely in the deepest corridors of my mind. Cathy Ruse declared, “…it is impossible for me to believe that marriage is anything other than the union of a man and a woman. And no law will change that belief. No judge will change that belief. There is nothing that can change that belief. Nothing…I’m also a mother. And as a mother, I know that no man can be a mother…just as I could never be a father, and children need both. All mothers know this. All mothers know this. Single mothers know it best of all. But the elites in society today—in academia, in the media—they laugh at that proposition. They scoff at it. They say, “Everybody knows it doesn’t matter whether children are raised in same-sex households, or in opposite-sex households; it’s all the same. And if you disagree, you’re a bigot, and you’re on the wrong side of history.”
President Russell M. Nelson counsels, “Social and political pressures to change marriage laws are resulting in practices contrary to God’s will regarding the eternal nature and purposes of marriage. Man simply cannot make moral what God has declared to be immoral. Sin, even if legalized by man, is still sin in the eyes of God.”
It is clear to me that government can change laws, but they cannot change God’s laws. God’s laws are unchanging, and at some point in time, we will all be held accountable for our efforts in upholding God’s laws.
So today, I make this stand. I make it with nothing but compassion and concern for those it may betray. But to deny what I believe would be a betrayal of my own soul; and that is something I cannot do. Romans 1:16 “For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth.”