After several years of being single and just remarrying recently, my current husband and I have both experienced the heartbreak of an unfaithful spouse. It is clear to me that experiencing an unfaithful partner is one of the most painful things a person can go through. We both have wounds and fears we carry, and perhaps it will take a long while for those wounds to completely heal. One sensitive area of attention that required some changes was my Facebook activity. I’ve deleted every single person I previously dated to help my spouse feel more comfortable. Facebook and social media have now become one of the most statistically prevalent ways people engage in emotional infidelity. Emotional infidelity is the grayest of areas within emotional boundaries. As stated in several bullet points in an article entitled, “Friends, Facebook & Fidelity,”
- Emotional infidelity is damaging, and often leads to other forms of betrayal.
- Sharing ones tender feelings, confidences and aspirations creates bonds. These should be reserved for your spouse.
- Social networking sites have become common means of connecting with “lost loves”—both intentionally and accidentally…with the same predictable results.
- Because they seem harmless, people often disregard the fact that they may be relating to others in ways they would never consider doing by more conventional (less convenient) means.
Conversations begin innocently, they are perpetuated and a benign relationship is cultivated that has the potential to become something it was never originally intended to become. In today’s world, where Satan is using every tool possible to destroy marriages, (and he’s succeeding,) we have to place every firm boundary we can to prevent infidelity in any form into our relationships. I loved the symbolism in the story relayed in the same article, “Friends, Facebook & Fidelity” called “Lessons from Babylon.” Babylon was guarded by four enormous walls, 335 feet tall, 85 feet thick, 56 miles in circumference (app. 14 miles on each side) These walls were absolutely impossible to break! The Euphrates river ran through it, providing a source of water and waste management. Underwater grates stopped underwater invasions, and it was believed the city could not be conquered through siege.
But the city was brought down in one day to Cyrus, king of Persia. The Euphrates was diverted several miles upstream. Once the water was only shin deep, the grates were easily removed and an entrance created.
We must always remember we have an enemy in our midst, relentlessly applying every tactic possible to break down our protective boundaries. The adversary never sleeps, never rests, never stops. The breakdown of the family is his greatest triumph and is certainly a segway to the degradation of society. When it comes to fidelity, we must not ever let our guard down, or even venture into an area of allowing any form of relationship with someone other than our spouse. For those that say, “That will never happen,” they are at the greatest risk. These individuals won’t protect themselves against something they cannot see happening, therefore, they naively fall prey to the adversary’s subtle tactics. Protect yourself like you’re fighting blindfolded, and surrounded by an enemy who knows everything about you… because you are.