There may be times in one’s marriage where an obstacle is encountered. This obstacle, whatever it may be, can prove to be a formidable barrier to contentment and peace within our relationship. There may even be times when one questions past mistakes that have led to the present point in time that is feeling too grievous to bear. We may second-guess past choices, feeling permanently punished for decisions gone wrong. When our focus turns negative, suddenly everything seems to bother us. We become continually pestered by trivial things and fixated on what others are doing to perpetuate these “wrongs.” It is in this mindset that the adversary wields his power. The negative mind is the perfect playground for Satan and his minions.
It can be easy to forget, life is a “perfectly-guided moral education.“ (H.W. Goddard, Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, 2009.) If Satan can keep us distracted with the trivial and continually frustrated over the daily disturbances that naturally occur on a regular basis, we become an easy target to toy with. As Goddard reminds us, “When we have vibrant faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, we know that the irritations and challenges of marriage are blessings intended to develop our character.”
Marriage provides the most significant opportunity for two people to encounter opposition and difficulty. It is under these very circumstances where growth has its greatest potential; that is, if we can see things from a heavenly perspective. We are often told to remember to look up. Look up for guidance and faith when times are hard. Look up for strength and wisdom when you feel you lack. Perhaps an additional perspective to consider is to remember that we once looked down. We once stood next to our Heavenly Father as he gently revealed the trials we would face down on earth. In our Father’s presence, we felt His immense love, and we understood. We understood these challenges Heavenly Father presented to us were the opportunities we needed if we were to continue in growth and progression. We accepted what we were to be given. We knew it would be difficult, but we embraced the next necessary step to our salvation.
We don’t remember those moments when we stood in the loving presence of our Heavenly Father. We don’t remember what we understood about His plan for us. But we can picture looking down from Heaven and knowing it was God’s plan for us and it was intentional. God does not make mistakes. God doesn’t do “random.” We must remember, “At times of relationship stress the best of us may wonder if we should have married differently-if we made a mistake. My guess is that, in ways not discerned by us, God guided us to be together. My guess is that God can take our marital choices and make them ideally suited to bless and balance us.” (H.W. Goddard, 2009).
It has been said, there is no growth in the comfort zone, and no comfort in the growth zone. We just need to exercise faith in the process; we must trust that things will unfold as they are meant to. We must believe that “God can turn almost any of our choices into blessings. He has an amazing ability to transform our bad decisions into growth.” “Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ can transform our imperfect relationships into purposeful growth and soul-filling companionship. It is the foundation on which strong relationships are built.” (H.W. Goddard, 2009).
If you are ever shrouded in the heaviness of doubt or despair, make no mistake…there is only one “being” who will do everything in his power to keep you in that dark place. Dispel doubt and remember, every choice in your life has led you here. You have learned, you have grown. You have repented, you have cried, you have endured. The culmination of your life’s experiences have brought you right to this place, and you are right where you are supposed to be. Keep going, keep trying, because you’re not done yet. Hang on for the ride and trust in the journey. The Lord has not finished creating you…and the best “you” is yet to come.